In a parallel universe, audiences griped about Paul Feig’s gender-swapped Ghostbusters reboot. In this parallel world, there is no discrimination against women. Inevitably, a female version of Ghostbusters will team up with the original cast in a nostalgia-porn sequel, but the “afterlife” of 2021 will never happen. Just think of what might happen. In its place is Ice Empire, the fifth entry in the series, which is fairly middling but still largely struggling to prove itself as more than just the sum of its theme songs. Sorry, part four. The powers that be in this universe are still keen to pretend that 2016 never happened (didn’t they?) . Return to New York puts the nail in the fig’s coffin.
To its credit, Ice Empire isn’t as sentimental as Afterlife. There’s still a hint of redundancy, but co-writer Ivan Reitman and Gil Kenan, who takes over directing duties, do a good job of remembering people’s desire for both joy and vile stupidity. That’s not to say their script is all that good – the idea of true originality is still a foreign concept to them – but with pizza, wacky gadgets and an in-form Kumail Nanijani, you can’t go too far wrong. Ice Empire even dabbles in the real cold. The film opens with a bang and climaxes with a frostbitten fist with a phonograph amputated from its owner’s frozen arm wrapped around it. Oops.
It’s a bit odd that this scene takes place a century before the rest of the film. Best not to question it. Fast forward to the present and it all begins in Manhattan. The iconic Ecto-1, piloted by a Paul Luther-esque Gary Groberson, sizzles on the scale of a Hell’s Kitchen sewer dragon. Carrie Kuhn as Carrie pilots the drone on the left, while third-generation Spengler family members Trevor (Finn Woolfard) and Phoebe (McKenna Grace) wield proton packs in the back. They catch the ghost, but at a cost. One-time EPA inspector and current mayor Walter Peck (William Atherton) wants to shut down the whole operation again. On the responsibility of infrastructure.
Putting Grace in the spotlight for a second performance was a smart move. Phoebe is undoubtedly the best newcomer in the Afterlife, and this performance is no different. When Peck banishes her from the team on the grounds of her age, Phoebe embarks on a metaphysical pursuit, and alongside her is Dan Aykroyd as Ray Stantz, who still hasn’t lost his old vigour. He’s in semi-retirement, but the emphasis is on semi-retirement: ‘This is how I want to spend my golden years, this is what I love’. Ernie Hudson and Annie Potts also return, albeit in smaller roles. If Murray’s witticisms are dull on the page, they are overpowered in the performances.
Honestly, too much happens here for the sake of the film itself. Too much, too little to make sense. Of course, Ice Empire does suffer from some appalling leaps in logic, not to mention the odd and cruel plot hole. It’s like writing a story around a series of pre-conceived plots; a combination of visual creativity and point-by-point narration. Which, of course, explains the raw villainous characters. A familiar skeleton with flashing blue eyes, able to summon ice simply because …… New York doesn’t look cool? They’re not wrong, it does.
Of course, just looking cool isn’t enough. While much of Ice Empire seems to fit that bill, it’s really just a confusing tableau that lacks substance. Substance. Suffice it to say, Letterman and Kenan are walking on thin ice with their toy box. Maybe they got away with it this time, but there’s no point. Today, an icy foe may find itself defeated, but from now on, the reaction will only get colder.
