Contrary to popular belief, there are still some great superhero films in the works despite dwindling commercial revenues. Examples include films such as The Blue Beetle. You would suspect that they would have done much better if they had been released in the peaceful early 2010s. Mrs Webb doesn’t fall into that category. When Mrs Webb fails – and it will eventually – superhero fatigue is not the cause. Let’s be clear, this isn’t just a trashy comic book film, it’s a wicked film in its own right. Either there’s a thrilling behind-the-scenes story here, or Sony put too much faith in the director who helmed 37 episodes of Doctors.
To his credit, SJ Clarkson has achieved a lot since becoming a doctor. His impressive CV includes Inheritance, Ugly Betty and Heroes. However, it’s worth mentioning here that daytime competitions were once all the rage. Why? Because Mrs Webb looks, sounds and feels like just that: an extremely expensive afternoon soap opera. Bad dialogue – whisper it – comes from the writers of Moebius, coupled with outrageous performances and fancy direction. The lighting is artificial, the soundtrack is confusing and full of ADR. it’s like watching a cheap dub of a foreign language B-movie.
The 1973 title sequence unfolds in a tropical rainforest from the start, which is no more convincing than a Blue Peter garden in Peru. A six-armed scientist and explorer (Kerry Bishop) has just placed her hand on a spider with super venom when she is betrayed by her Peruvian security intelligence officer (Taha Rahim). He swings Spider-Man and shoots the Doctor in the sternum. Oops. Don’t forget, she’s a pregnant woman. When he leaves, a group of spider-worshipping supermen deliver her baby, but fail to save her mother.30 years later, Cassandra “Cassie” Webb is a paramedic in Manhattan. She is played by Dakota Johnson, who is either the best character in the film or the one who walks away to collect a cheque, depending on your point of view.
Cassie is just an ordinary girl next door. She’s a foster kid who loves to joke around during the day and sadly rummages through her late mother’s belongings at night. She says, “Mum, I hope the spiders are worth it.” She would rather stay home and feed stray cats than attend a baby shower. After a work accident nearly ends the film prematurely, Cassie discovers she has superpowers. Fortunately, this allows her to foresee and stop future tragedies before they happen. Unfortunately, we need to watch the terrifying sequence twice.
It doesn’t help that the plot hinges on our concern for the three bland teenagers in Cassie’s care. Ezekiel has a premonition that these three will one day be his undoing and is determined to destroy them. Only the perceptive Cassie can stand in his way. Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor and Isabella Merced are all promising actors, but are wasted in a film where their acting skills are not enough to elevate the bland story. The story is so bland and uninteresting that it quickly becomes boring. Warner Bros. will drop this film because of the tax cuts. Sony missed a masterstroke.
There are one or two interesting instances in the film – some intentional, some not – but not nearly enough. Let’s not forget that Venom was also terrible, but it achieved its insanity through the power of its own ridiculous personality. Mrs Webb has no personality whatsoever. The film is shockingly heavy on product placement and some of the worst CPR ever. Don’t try it at home. Don’t watch it at home either.
